January Is Not a Personality Test

Hey Everyone!

It’s 2026.

I took a full month off to reset, and honestly? I think this might be my new tradition. I regularly encourage breaks throughout the year (still do), but there is something different about an end-of-year hard stop. A real pause. The kind where your nervous system isn’t multitasking rest with planning what’s next.

If you’re the kind of person who knows how to rest but somehow never actually lets yourself do it, you already understand why this mattered.

By now, you’ve probably been bombarded with “Start the New Year Right”, “New Year, Better Me”, or “Here’s How to Fix Yourself in 30 Days” content. And if you haven’t, low-key jealous of your algorithm and also curious how you pulled that off.

What I tend to see instead (both personally and in the therapy room) is this: January doesn’t feel inspiring. It feels… flat. The holidays end, the structure returns, the connection drops off, and suddenly the expectations are back. And somehow you’re supposed to feel energized about it.

For a lot of high-functioning adults, this feels less like a fresh start and more like being asked to run a marathon with zero training and a “you’ve got this!” slapped on top.

No worries. I got you.

Let’s Normalize the Emotional Drop (Because It’s Not a Personal Failing)

Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?”, let’s try:

• What kind of connection, stimulation, or rest did I have that I don’t have now?

• What am I grieving the loss of even if the holidays themselves were complicated or stressful?

A post-holiday mood dip is incredibly common. From a nervous-system perspective, this is often about dopamine drops and rhythm shifts, not a lack of gratitude, discipline, or mindset.

If you’re someone who functions well, holds a lot together, and rarely “falls apart,” this drop can be especially confusing. You’re used to being capable. So when things feel harder, the instinct is to assume you’re doing something wrong.

You’re not. Your system is adjusting. Let’s leave the “you should be over this by now” narrative in 2025.

Rebuilding Routine Doesn’t Mean Going Full Boot Camp

If you’re wired for productivity, your instinct in January might be to clamp down: tighter schedules, bigger goals, less tolerance for slowness.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “Yes, and it’s not working,” that tracks.

Instead of rebuilding your entire life at once, try thinking in terms of anchors, not schedules.

Not a perfect morning routine. Just:

• light exposure

• some gentle movement

• coffee without immediately scrolling yourself into an existential spiral

Evenings don’t need to be optimized either:

• a shower (water is grounding, regulating, and honestly underrated… also totally bias because I feel it’s also the best spiritual cleanse)

• reading

• nighttime tea

• quiet sensory things like coloring or just sitting there doing nothing productive

Say it with me: consistency over intensity. Especially if your nervous system is still catching up.

Resistance Isn’t Laziness. It’s Feedback.

If everything feels harder than it “should,” that’s not because you suddenly lost your work ethic.

Motivation often lags behind action. And yes, discipline matters but not the self-punishing kind.

What we’re not doing:

• shaming ourselves into compliance

• setting goals that require a personality transplant

• pretending white-knuckling is sustainable

Instead, we scale it down.

Heavy version:
“I need to go to the gym every day this week.”

Scaled-down version:
“Let me pack my gym bag and set out my favorite outfit tonight.”

Sometimes the goal is just to lower the barrier enough that your system doesn’t revolt.

Also, we’re officially retiring “I should.” Put it in the shredder. Try:

• “I’m trying…”

• “I’m experimenting with…”

• “I’m attempting to…”

This language matters. It creates flexibility instead of pressure.

Resistance isn’t a stop sign. It’s a blinking yellow. Slow down, look around, adjust.

Productivity Guilt Needs to Take Several Seats

Let’s talk about productivity guilt, the uninvited guest who shows up every January and acts like she pays rent.

A lot of high-achieving adults feel behind before the year even starts. Usually because:

• you’re comparing yourself to people online

• you’re comparing yourself to a past version of you who had more capacity

• or both

Here’s the reframe: guilt is an emotional response, not a moral truth.

Try asking:

• What is this guilt actually reacting to?

• Is there something actionable here or just pressure to perform?

Also, instead of tracking output, try tracking energy for a week. Learn when you actually function well. Build around that instead of fighting it.

And let’s be very clear: rest is not optional. It is not a reward. And it is absolutely not something you have to earn.

Most people work five days a week and hold emotional labor roles that never shut off. Stop calling rest days “lazy.” That’s capitalism talking, not your nervous system.

No shame. Just facts.

January Is a Re-Entry, Not a Test

“New year, new me” gives me the ick. Who decided last year’s version of you was defective?

Yes, growth matters. But so does softening the transition.

January can be for:

• delaying big decisions when possible (“Can I have a day to think about this?” is wildly underrated)

• noticing patterns instead of fixing them

• paying attention to how weekends, sleep, and routines affect your Mondays

Treat this month like data collection, not performance evaluation.

There is no prize for forcing yourself to feel “back to normal” faster than your system is ready for.

If the Blues Stick Around

If the low mood, numbness, irritability, or overwhelm lingers beyond a few weeks or feels heavier than a seasonal adjustment, it may be worth getting support. Therapy can help sort out whether this is burnout, depression, unresolved grief, trauma activation, or nervous system overload and help you move forward without white-knuckling your life.

Final Reality Check

You don’t need a new version of yourself this year.
You might just need time to re-regulate, reassess, and reconnect with your life as it actually is not the one you’re supposed to already be thriving in.

If this sounds familiar, therapy can be a place to slow down, make sense of what your nervous system is responding to, and stop carrying everything alone. If and when you’re ready, you’re welcome to reach out or learn more about working together. No urgency. No fixing. Just support.